By Suzanne Reisler Litwin
Just as I was carrying groceries into my home, my cell phone rang. I rushed to put the bags down and answer the phone. It’s my girlfriend calling me. I tell her, I will call her back later as I have to put my groceries away. The next day, I have my hands deep in mincemeat mixing it with spices. I am making yummy meatballs, and… my cell phone rings again. It’s the same friend. I let the phone ring as I know I will call her back later.
A day later, I happen to be furiously rushing to finish an article before my deadline and then my cell phone rings again. Guess who? Yup, it’s the same girlfriend calling. I realize at this point, she must have something very important to tell me. What I noticed more was how every time she called me, I was just unable to answer her call. It seemed as though our timing was really off?
When I did call her back, she laughed when I suggested the next time she wants calls me, wait another 10 minutes and see if that makes a difference. However, the next time she called me I was walking through security at an airport and I couldn’t take her call until I got to the gate. It’s just this way it is with us right now. Our connecting time is off.
Sometimes it’s like that. The timing is off and it takes a while for the timing to get back on track.
Some comedians have excellent timing. I was watching Amy Schumer the other night. Her timing is perfect. She just knows how to deliver a joke, wait out the laughter, and punch in another sidebar to the original joke. She is a pro at comedic timing. I thoroughly lack comedic timing. Actually, my conversational timing is really off too.
When I have a conversation with someone, I have a tendency to not wait for my time to speak. I get overly excited to share and inevitably I over talk the other person. I don’t take my time to talk and then listen well. I pounce to talk and share. Sometimes I have to remind myself to wait, pace, listen, and then speak. I am a good listener, but when I’m excited to share information, I pounce and speak. The little voice in my head will say, ‘Sue, take a moment and breath.’
You might have friends which you are able to share a total balance of conversation with. Actually, I defined a word on Urban Dictionary, urbandictionary.com, which describes this perfect timing of conversation. I call it, “converfriendsation”. It’s the perfect flow of conversation with a friend. I speak, she speaks, I speak, she speaks. It’s like the tick-tock of a grandfather clock. My friend Ellen and I have constant converfriendsations all the time!
Here is the link to my new word: www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=converfriendsation&defid=12372607.
Sometimes, you might feel your timing is just off. The world is moving at a pace which you can’t seem to manage. Usually, it’s too fast and you can’t keep up. I’ve heard people say, “I just want to get off this ride and get back on later!” Perhaps a good solid sleep or a good vacation might be the cure for this kind of, off timing ride.
There are days when I’m just late for everything. Actually, this is, unfortunately, most of my days. I don’t move at the world’s speed, I’m a lot slower. Believe me when I tell you I want to be at the pace of the world. I’m working on getting better at this. I don’t like rushing and I actually prefer my own timing to the worlds. I just heard the little voice in my head say ‘she’s a work in progress!’
Meeting people at certain times of your life might also be specific timing. Sometimes people enter your world when you didn’t realize they were so needed. You might ask yourself, why now, why not before. How is this timing so perfect or imperfect? Usually in time, the revelation of this ‘why and how’ will be answered.
A minute here, a moment there can make such a big difference. Place of time and time of place usually have a reason.
This moment, now with you, these words, is our time together. Brief, but I’m so grateful you took the time to be here with me. Do you have a friend who you can share a good converfriendsation with? If so, go tick tock with them and share some excellent time together.
Suzanne Reisler Litwin is an instructor at Concordia University in The Centre for Continuing Education. She is a writing instructor at The Cummings Centre. She writes a weekly column in The Suburban Newspaper and at the West Island Blog. Suzanne is a freelance contributor to The Suburban Newspaper, West Island Blog, Wise Women Canada, The Metropolitain, and Women on the Fence. She is the author of the children’s book, The Black Velvet Jacket. Visit suzannereislerlitwin.com to read more of her published articles, books, and poetry.