Serious Zero Self-Control

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By: Suzanne Reisler Litwin

And…is that such a bad thing? Like a really bad thing, which needs an adjustment?


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A darling friend gave me a box of chocolates for International Women’s Day.  It’s an easy gift to give me.  It’s a guarantee I’m going to LOVE it.  I’m going to devour them, enjoy them, and let them slide down my throat in pleasure.

These were not the ordinary pharmacy store bought chocolates.  This box of chocolates came from Andrée Chocolats on Parc Avenue in Montreal, Quebec.  Each one is a handmade delicacy of confection perfection.

This box was a single layer of assorted sweets.  Dark chocolate covered marshmallows, vanilla creams, hazelnut cream, cashew nuts, marzipan, maraschino cherry, coffee cream, orange slices, butter toffee, caramel, etc. I could go on and on and on. Let’s just say each one is perfectly created and scrumptious. A work of dark chocolate art!

Once I received this gorgeous box of exquisite chocolates a serious battle ensued!

How do I control myself from not eating the whole thing?  Ok, it’s easy not to eat the whole thing because if I do that, I will certainly become sick.  Although, the thought seriously passed my mind at the onset of opening and smelling the sweets.  How will I control myself not to eat it all in a few days?

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I will allow myself 2 per day.  That’s insane, it won’t work! I will allow myself 4 per day. 
They are so small.  I can manage 4, I think. Now the bargaining in my head begins.  If I don’t eat all 4 on Monday, can I eat 4 on Tuesday plus the balance from Monday?   Then maybe on Tuesday I can eat 6? Is that too much candy for one day?  Did I mention the fact that they are very small?

Do I need to have this conversation with myself over a gorgeous box of chocolates? I do! I want them to last.  I want to enjoy them. I want more than I have. I want to eat chocolate every day for the rest of my life.  Which I already do, just not this fancy schmancy variety.

Perhaps this will be the box of chocolates that I will lose all self-control, throw caution to the wind and just eat the whole damn thing?

I can’t do that. I have the freedom to do this, but I won’t. I have to pace myself and enjoy the simple pleasures of a few chocolates per day.

Perhaps I should share this box of chocolates with some friends and we will all lose ourselves in them?  Add a glass or two of red wine and we will be off to the races of chocolate lovers glory. 

This makes me think of lyrics from an Elvis song, A Little Less Conversation

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain’t satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

“Just eat the damn chocolates and enjoy them!!!!” says the left side of my brain.  The left side of my brain listens to Elvis music while I’m running miles to keep my body in good condition. “Control yourself, everything in moderation!” says the right side of my brain.  The right side of my brain feels the pounding of the pavement in my “You’re too damn old to still be running with these achy knees!!!”  A little less conversation in my head would certainly help now.

Let’s Make a Deal body!

This also reminds me of one of my favorite children’s book, “A Fish Out of Water”.  It is the story of a boy who had a pet fish.  He was told to feed the fish a little bit of food or something will happen.  He fed the fish too much food and it grew way too big. Even too big for a swimming pool! I thought of myself as that fish.  Too big for even a swimming pool! I reread the story and savoured the brilliant words found on page 5.

Then Mr. Carp told me:

“When you feed a fish, never feed him a lot.  So much and no more! Never more than a spot, or something may happen! You never know what.”

I think I’m going to stick to that advice.  I’m going to try some self-control tonight. Never more than a spot or something may happen. 

By the way, is it ok to have two chocolates right now? It’s 12:10 am.  Doesn’t the time qualify for the next day chocolate raisons?  I’m seriously not good at this!!

Suzanne Reisler Litwin an instructor at Concordia University in The Centre for Continuing Education. Suzanne is a freelance contributor to The Suburban newspaper.   She is the author of the children’s book, The Black Velvet Jacket. She lives in Montreal, Canada with her 3 children, Allyn, Taylor, and Duke and her husband Laurie. Suzanne contributes regularly to West Island Blog under her column “Keeping it Real”.  Please visit her website  www.suzannereislerlitwin.com
  to read more of her published articles, books, and poetry.