Acclaimed Kiwi pop singer, Lorde, aged 26, has recently provided an emotional update to her multitude of admirers via a comprehensive, heartfelt newsletter. The star has been under constant scrutiny ever since her breakthrough in 2012 with the massive hit song ‘Royals’, an enduring attention that seems to have had a significant impact on her emotional wellbeing.
Directly confronting months of conjecture that she is about to release new music – rumors that were given credence with the recent shutdown of her official website – Lorde, whose birth name is Ella Yelich-O’Connor, made the revelation that she is undergoing another period of heartbreak.
Sharing her life experiences with millions of her loyal fans, Lorde narrated that she is currently based in London, and even though she finds clarity there, she is mostly sequestered from her loved ones and finds herself feeling a void, missing her friends and family greatly.
The pop sensation who has been away from her homeland New Zealand since May, touched upon her current relationship status also. Her update seemed to imply a confirmation of a break-up with her long-standing boyfriend, Justin Warren, 42, who is a well-known figure in the music industry. The couple had been dating since 2015, when they made a public appearance together at the Vodafone New Zealand Music Awards. Despite recent rumours circulating that they were engaged, neither Lorde nor Warren corroborated that information.
In her newsletter, Lorde offers her perspective on her heartbreak stating, “It’s much the same, yet different. I often experience a deep-seated pain, forget why, and then remember. I don’t intend to hide from the pain, as now I realize that there is an underlying beauty in experiencing it. Yet, at times I do get tired of my own company.”
Trying to alleviate her mental pain, the Grammy-awarded artist confesses that she attempted to elevate her mood by consuming chocolates. Unfortunately, it seems it had the opposite effect. She says that her overall health seems to be in a poor state; her digestive system has become dysfunctional, her skin condition has worsened, and she has fallen ill multiple times.
The 26-year-old songstress continues by stating her realization that taking good care of her body health is something she finds challenging since it is not a skill she has acquired before. Shedding light on her daily regimen, she reveals that she has ceased taking the “little yellow pill” which she has been consuming each morning since her teen years. She does not verify what that might be, but it could possibly be an antidepressant.
She confesses in her newsletter that she often assesses the social media world where she perceives everyone as being excessively slender which leads her into exhaustion and a feeling of distance from the digital world. She states, “Pondering over it overwhelms me and makes me feel weary and distant. I’m uncertain if it’s wreaking a similar havoc on anyone else.”
Lorde also shared that she had plans to attend Paris Fashion Week, but recently decided to cancel her attendance, sending a message to her manager that stated, “When I started my career, I made a commitment to never feign a smile for the limelight.”
In the ensuing discussion, she admitted to experimenting with hallucinogenic mushrooms – a revelation that has resulted in newfound self-discovery and an improved understanding of her body and its experiences. This mushroom trip also brought an insight for her that her body is a thing of beauty and hating it is as useless as disliking a tree.
Nearing the conclusion of her detailed newsletter, she included some highlights of her year – a brief European festival tour where she and her team were able to put together a “cool new version” of her show within a couple of days.
Sharing her current reading choices, Lorde mentioned: ‘Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead’ by Olga Tokarczuk, ‘Motherhood’ by Sheila Heti and ‘Rough Translations’ by Molly Giles. The latter, she acknowledges, was introduced to her by the TV Host, Chris Chang. The pop sensation also expressed her affection for Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori in London, and urged her fans to donate to The Kindness Institute, as it recently lost government funding.
Quoting the Sylvia Plath poem ‘Stings’, a poem she said encapsulates her present state of mind and was shared with her by her mother, Sonja Yelich, she wrapped up her moving missive. Ending her communication, she assured her fans, “Don’t worry about me”, claiming, “I still laugh every day, everything is moving forward, even if at times the progress is slow. I have accepted the challenge — I have a self to recover.”
