Grief has a concrete path, everyone following the same steps at the same rate. By the end of the first month you should be feeling better. By the end of the third month you should be over it. WRONG!!!!
How many of you have had people tell you how you should be handling your own grief? How many of you have had people question whether you are grieving properly i.e. too much, too little, too long, too short? The most important thing to remember is that there are no rules to grief. It is as individual as you are, therefore there is no right or wrong way to experience it. There is also no time frame. How you grieve, and for how long, is influenced by various factors; how the person died, what your relationship was to that person, your support network, your cultural background, etc.
It is not uncommon to experience a period of numbness following the death of someone you love. This is normal and allows you to make it through the ‘business of death’ namely the funeral, legal papers, or settling of the estate. As you become more capable of handling the emotions associated with the death, the numbness recedes and the pain can feel almost unbearable. It can feel like you are carrying around a big heavy backpack, the backpack of grief. Over time as the pain lessens, the weight feels lighter.
Do you need help with your backpack? Is it too heavy to carry alone? Do you feel you need tools to help you navigate this difficult journey? I can help.
Lori Vinaric MSW,t.s.
Professional Social Worker
member of l’OTSTCFQ and ADEC
514 923 1174
6500 TransCanada Hwy, Suite 427
Pointe Claire, Quebec H9R 0A5