Caring for children is never easy. When you’re about to become a parent, you see other parents bossing it and worry that you won’t do the same. Being a parent is like being left out of a secret club that is a total mystery to you, until you’re in it. Here are some things no one tells you about being a parent.
No one has a clue
No parents really know what they’re doing. Should we be feeding them that, can they go there, is this product OK to use? Even talcum powder hit the headlines for being dangerous (here’s a lo-down for parents on the Johnson & Johnson baby powder recall) – it’s hard to know what is safe and what isn’t. It is tough looking after kids. We’re winging it. A combination of research and intuition is what the best parents rely on.
The house is always a mess
Tidying a house with kids in it often feels completely pointless. They leave toys everywhere and will probably draw on walls or tables at some point. You’ll probably trip over twice a day on something left on the floor. You get used to it.
You’re always waiting in line
Being a parent means doing stuff you don’t want to do. A lot. You’ll find yourself constantly waiting in line for ice creams, events you don’t care about and even in toy shops for the latest trends. Do yourself a favor and invest in a comfy pair of shoes.
You lie a lot
We teach our kids not to lie, but the fact is that parents lie all the time. It’s impossible not to. When your kids don’t want to do stuff and you’re reaching the end of your tether, a lie often pops out. Sure, you’ll get a dog if you eat your carrots. Sure.
There is no such thing as privacy
Kids don’t understand privacy. A closed door means nothing to them. Be prepared for many interrupted bathroom breaks and disturbed nights.
You turn into your parents
We all fear turning into our parents. It might be avoidable if you don’t have kids. But, if you become a parent, you’ll find yourself regurgitating the annoying lines they said to you when you were little. You’d forgotten most of it, but it resurfaces from the back of your head when you least expect it.
You stop being grossed out by stuff
Parents can’t be squeamish. You’ll become totally un-phased by fluids and bodily functions. In fact, you might even find them cute.
You become a superhero
Parents are awesome. They don’t get enough credit. We somehow manage to squeeze productivity into our days. Once, going to work was exhausting. Now, you wake up at 5am, play a game of tag, make packed lunches, wash the dishes and prepare breakfast… All before 7am. Parents are literal superheroes. Welcome to the club.